#Simon says 2006 movie
You ever watch a movie where there seems to be a twist, but you catch on so quickly that you wonder if there was even supposed to be a twist? That's kind of what happened there. And I was really confused with the twin thing. There's plenty of gruesome violence if that gets you off. That's almost topped a little later on by some fire effects.
There are flying pickaxes, an effect that not only looked completely stupid but didn't make any sense at all. The dialogue's inane ("How a one-armed man counts his chain" might be the most pointless thing I've ever seen), the story and its characters have all the cliches that The Cabin in the Woods poked fun at, and the special effects are awful. Aside from Glover's decision to make this an uproarious comedy, this movie is a complete disaster. Let's eat." Or his explanation of "the devil's cry." Or maybe the line "Now that's what I call a fatty!" which I can't believe hasn't become an Internet meme. In fact, a conversation one of his characters has that ends with him yelling, "Sorry! I'm just a little tense here!" might be the most comical thing I've seen all year. But back to Crispin because he carries this kids-in-the-woods-with-a-killer cliche on his shoulders and turns it into a comic masterpiece. Still she's Blake Lively, somebody I've heard of! There are three other Livelys in this movie, too (possibly a Lively record) so one can only assume that somebody in the Lively family produced this. This was before she was famous for whatever she's famous for, and she's really only in this movie for about 3 1/2 minutes. On some covers of the dvd of this movie, it has Blake Lively's name right up there. Oh, I like this game" that make you wonder if it was all written that badly or if Glover was just butchering his lines and everybody went along with it because he was the only famous person in the movie. Sometimes, especially when he's called a retard or crazy, he gets mad. His character stomps on a dog and then exclaims, "Puppy sleepy!" He delivers some of the worst puns you'll ever hear-"How about a hand sandwich?!"-and gets lines like "I like this game. And speaking of Crispin, just imagine this for a moment: Crispin Glover playing a mentally-challenged character and his twin, both with accents that convince you they're both supposed to be mentally-challenged. It's got to be the worst acting by twins ever which isn't right because they're playing young versions of the greatest actor of all time. He stinks it up in a limited role, but not as much as his children, twins played by actual twins Chad and Chris Cunningham. And his dad, former Torgo award winner Bruce Glover, is in this, too. You get to double your pleasure with this one.
Plot: Some college kids go camping in a remote location and are terrorized by two Crispin Glovers armed with pickaxes.
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